Saturday, January 26, 2013

Confessions Entry 11


Entry 11
When temptation knocks how must I answer? The flesh will fail me until I hate the flesh in its lusting and desiring of things that are not of you. All my desiring flows from an incomplete rest in you. Oh seeker, you sought for me. I gird myself for battle. The battle for the flesh is one in which I am weak, but you are strong. Fount of life you are forever the same. I have no right to seek joy outside of you, my Lord. I can see the light before I see the sunrise, Father. Call and shout. Please don’t stop desiring me, Lord, because there are times when I don’t desire you and my heart is so far from you that I have so thoroughly convinced myself that I can find happiness aside from you.
            Help me to remember that my spirituality and my happiness and joy is found in my relations with others. Help me to remember that in this world I am going to have many troubles, Lord, but that you have conquered the world I live in. I love you, and you will continue to fight for me even when I can’t find the strength to fight for you. My spirit is strong, but my flesh will constantly be weak. Wash away my blindness. I’m alive again.
            Lord, help me to feel what it feels like to be strong in you. This last month, as I so feel every January has been a struggle. I don’t want baseball to be a source of stress in my life. I desire to give it to you, and surrender it to you. You have died in my place, Lord. Help me to remember that there is no resurrection without death.  When I am empty, my soul is beautiful for it is devoid of all that is not you. Jesus, you kept the faith in me. Keep the faith in me.
            You have delivered me from temptation. I meditate on things that are pleasing, holy, and good, and you have given me a hope in your name. In the desert of temptation there is much to fear, and much that can bring a man to the ground, but in looking up the light of the heavens illuminates the path of righteousness and the path to joy in you. 

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