Confessions Entry 8

Entry 8

How often, Lord, do you bring us diseases of the body to cure us of diseases of the soul? In our infirmary you reach out your hand to us in hopes that we reach back to grab hold to you. How loving are you that you would continue to reach out your hand while we willingly turn our hand aside from yours? Blessed are those who suffer in illness for a long period of time for their adversity is much - equal is their strength and wisdom. My outlook has changed regarding sickness and physical handicap recently. The body is temporary, yet what is done unto the body can have an effect on the soul as the two are not mutually exclusive.

Terrible illnesses such as cancer, ALS, or paralysis affect the body in such a way that one’s soul is affected as well. Through the loss of our physical functions we have come to know and become so dependent on are we so much more able to rely on God. The central recurring theme is that when we are at our weakest God is at His strongest. This has been such a momentous change of perspective for me. How often is the competition about who is strongest or who is smartest? This very reliance on our own aptitude is what drives neuroses. God is both the giver and the taker. Should we not then boast, proclaim, and embrace our ailments and weaknesses so that God is more complete in us, and we are most open to His grace? This isn’t to say that we don’t feel God when we’re happy, or when things are going well. In my experience when things are going well it’s easy to assume things are going to continue going well and that things are going well because of our own doing. Maybe that’s why people who have gone through such suffering are able to so fully appreciate the ‘good’ times and stand strong through the ‘bad’ times – they recognize God’s presence through it all. Maybe there is no such thing as good or bad times. All the events in our life function to shape us and mold us to become more like our Father, and we need to rejoice each and every day whether we’re suffering or we’re coasting on through. It’s not circumstance that distinguishes us as Christians, but the joy in our soul amidst changing circumstances that reflects the light of Jesus.

Lord, at the end of the day all we can ask is that we are reflections of your magnificent, blinding light. Help us to embrace each day as an opportunity to grow closer to you whether it be in an overabundance feeling of gratitude in your blessings, or when we in great heartache, illness, and much suffering. Come to our aid and let us be overwhelmed with your powerful presence.